Researching No One But Madison
Quite a few people ask me how I researched for No One But Madison because while this book is Romantica, it leaves the reader with so much more than a lingering tingle of pleasure. No One But Madison delves into the psyche of those living the BDSM lifestyle. Like many, I once believed that only those who were weak or control freaks or just kinky would consider becoming a submissive or Dominant. I saw leather and chains and nothing more. When I decided to write No One But Madison, my aim was to write a hot romance with a strong dose of suspense and nothing more. A writer who loves research, I set out to find out as much as I could about BDSM. At first, I only acquainted myself with the terms and equipment. Then I knew that if I wanted a strong heroine, I had to understand if a woman like Madison would ever agree to become a submissive. So I dug deeper. I joined groups and met couples in D/s relationships and those hoping to find the perfect Dominant or submissive partner. What I found shocked me. People from every walk of life, in every occupation. Warm, kind, and loving souls. Strong minded submissives. Gentle, caring Dominants. Sure, I found kink. But I believe kink is necessary to keep spice in longterm relationships. Let’s face it, couples who remain together and sexually active for fifty years strayed from the missionary position. Anyway, I talked and listened and watched. I learned that trust is crucial in a D/s relationship and means so much more than in what most term a “normal relationship.” When most of us commit to another person, trust revolves around monogamy, around “don’t break my heart.” But trust in a D/s relationship means “don’t break my spirit”, “don’t take me beyond my pain threshhold”, “don’t break me” if you are the submissive. It also means, “don’t ask me to do more than I feel I can,” “don’t lose sight of the person I am, the person you are,” “don’t take me beyond my limits.” Because in this kind of relationship, both parties are exposing vulnerabilities and trusting the other not to take advantage. Hearts are fragile, but both Dominants and submissives are placing so much more than their hearts in someone elses control. Many believe the Dominant is the only one in control, but the submissive has the power and right to bring any session to an end. The Dominant holds the flogger but the submissive determines when that flogger falls to the floor. When someone goes out into the world to find that special someone, villians hide behind words of love. This is true in any kind of relationship, but for the woman or man searching for a partner in the BDSM lifestyle, that villian or abuser has a perfect hiding place. Sadly, a submissive may not realize he or she chose an abuser until it is too late. Trust. We all trust that our friends are looking out for us, but in a “normal” relationship, friends are less inclined to step in if they believe someone has entered into an abusive relationship. I found that those in the lifestyle are well aware of those villians and have organizations to help those who end up in an abusive relationship. My research opened my eyes to a group of people who touched my heart. I met couples with loving relationships that few can hope to have. I learned that a Dominant must realize that a submissive is offering the greatest part of themselves and he or she must treat that gift like a fragile flower, something of beauty, a beauty that can be vanquished if not handled with care. Control powerful and dangerous to both members in a D/s relationship. I think Drake explains it perfectly in a scene where he talks Madison through a fantasy where her inner moral limitiations and fears are no longer in control because she has given that control to him. Then he asks, “Imagine my forcing you to bring all of your secret fantasies to life. Have you lost your freedom, Madison? Or won it back?” And that is where the trust comes in. She would have to trust him to make sure he brings her fantasies to life without thrusting her into a nightmare. Madison learns just how brutal such a nightmare can be. No One But Madison is available on Amazon.com and at EllorasCave.com.